Monday, March 21, 2011

I totally lost my dong in 'nam...

Let me start by apologizing for the lack of content over the last few days. Between a shitty bandwidth internet connection and a bit of jetlag, it's been hard to keep people updated. We're going to do our best to provide shorter posts, but on a daily basis, in the coming weeks, so stay tuned. Also, and this is rather irrelevant, but there's no facebook in Vietnam. What the fuck commis???

So where to start, ah yes, Vietnam, the land of motorbikes and pho! A backwards place with propoganda a plenty, where a "Communist" party forwrds a capitalist agenda. You, Vietnam, are the Tangela of SE Asia! Because while your intentions may be questioned and your usefullness against the Elite 4 argued, you posess your own, albeit quaint, charm. It is here that 'Team Alacard' started their journey.

Despite having a number of preconceived notions about Vietnam, most of which related to the War, I did my best to enter the country with an open mind. "There's no way EVERYONE in Vietnam is a Minh sucking, commi bastard," I thought. But while it was true that Charlie wasn't waiting around every corner, symbols of his dominance were. Everything from hammer and sickle ladden flags, to statues of the man himself. It should have been no surprise then, that the memorials we would see, would have their own special kind of bias.

The War Remnants Museum

The exterior of the War Museum drew us in with a mix of US aircraft of tanks. Left over from the 70s, these symbols of American imperialism were meant to serve as a reminder of what the party had overcome. For a moment I was pleasantly surprised, "Is this it? Just a lot of toys stamped 'made in the USA'?" As we made our way in, expecting to see more of the same, I was shocked to instead find wall after wall of American slander. The first exhibit was a partially rebuilt prison that was used by the South Vietnamese (or as I like to call them, the Vietnamese) during the war. What started as a cool reconstruction was quickly ruined by countless quotes from North Vietnamese "historians" citing various torture techniques utilized by the US during the war. Eventually these quotes gave way to photographs of suffering Asians which, for all we know, could have been Southern soldiers. I happened upon another traveler who, having spent some time in the capitol, informed me that the Hanoi Hilton was setup in a very simlar way, contrasting the horrible attrocities committed by the hands of the french with how humanely the North treated imprisoned GIs.

Wow, just wow. 

Don't get me wrong, I found the whole ordeal extremely educating, but what I was being educated on was how to pacify a populous, NOT the specifics of the Vietnam War. Some of the other exhibits proved pretty comical. One contained a letter written by an agent orange victim to Obama, and another was a weapons display that contained the following quote: "Colt-45 and long and short-barreled Rouleau were often equipped for US police and officers as well as former Saigon Army for self-protection and commanding in battle. However, this weapon was also used to murder innocent people." History is written by the victors, I suppose.

Reunification Palace

While some rooms are off limits, the vast majority of the old South Vietnamese seat of power is now open to explore by tourists. Team Alacard spent some time running around and exploring old command centers, still rife with war maps. On the roof was a floor of a design similar to what can be seen in dance clubs. Theres no doubt in my mind that the 60s parties to beat were up at Nguyen's place. While definitely the least propogandized stop on our trip so far, this may only be because covering all the palace walls in hate literature would have taken too much time and energy. Still, where there were plaques, they underlined how capitalists were pigs and detailed the Southern surrender.

Cu-Chi Tunnels

Our last "war" stop to make was Cu-Chi (pronounced coochie xD), home to the Viet-Cong themselves! It's here that Ariana and I climbed around in tunnels, watched some propaganda videos, and got up close and personal with an assortment of traps. The highlight was a video shot during the war. The narrator, who spoke in English, described how the US "descended like devils" onto Cu-Chi. We found ourselves trying to hold back laughter as fellow tourists watched in awe. Could this be the reason US policy is so unpopular? The video ended with a screen that implied it was made in California. Hollywood played a part in making Communist propoganda videos? Meh, no surprise there.

What else?

While the war was a big highlight, it wasn't the only part of Vietnam we took in. The food, the weather, and the average asian were all great, as was the scenary. We spent time at a temple, wandered around the markets, and took a few tours of the Mekong delta. The hostel we stayed in was my first and proved to be a pleasant surprise. The only complaint I've had about our trip so far was this "floating hotel" we stayed in on our way to Cambodia. Having decided to make the trip to Phnom Penh by boat, we made a stop on the way in what Ariana called "The sketchiest place shes ever stayed". Oh well, thanks to some well placed locks, the Hive will have no need for a "Frank's netbook going away warming" party.

Egads! Team Alacard has just crossed into Cambodian territorial waters! See what awaits our adventurers next time, on THERISEOFSAIGON.

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