While you may have never met me, it's quite likely you know me by reputation. I'm Frank <insert Polish last name>, the cross-country tripping, kayak stealing, security evading, gun shooting, Corvette smashing, day-spa crashing, high-school streaking, goat-ball eating guy who spends his life balancing on the line between what is and is not appropriate. I'm an expert in the dark arts of Settlers, and the Yin to Brian's Yang <3 . I've been told I'm sexually ambiguous, but this usually occurs after placing my hand in another man's pants... maybe I should learn a new party trick?
ALL THE PERSONALITY WITH NONE OF THE NASTY SIDE AFFECTS! That's me in a nutshell.
Oh, and ladies... I'm single ;-) .
"So... about the trip?"
Ah yes, almost forgot! So Ariana already hit most of the high points, but I'll recap: three weeks for six countries (seven if the Burmese aren't looking)! While Ariana never officially invited me on what definitely started as HER trip, I could tell from the apathy in her voice and the color of her shoes that what she really wanted was a MAN. Someone to come... and... protect her! YES! From all the trouble that a poor, defenseless (please don't hit me >.<), female traveler inevitably runs into. Unable to find her such a man I offered my services instead, which she graciously accepted.
The only country I've been to outside of NAFTA is Iraq, so since Baghdad probably shares more in common with Phnom Penh than Toronto does, I've decided to pack as such. Now, with a newly acquired netbook and my digital copy of Mein Kampf, I feel Team Alucard is ready to take on the world! BRING IT, COMMIES!
Make sure to stay tuned, and subscribe (er... "Follow")! In the coming weeks we'll be adding content as we prepare for the journey, to include a breakdown of trip costs, and a comic strip staring Ariana and I (illustrated by Randall Munroe) as we attempt to make this same journey back in 1969!
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